Everything I Own
by Candid Ishida
Summary: Fifty years have passed since Hiei left the Ningenkai and Kurama, not being able to handle the fox's declaration of love. He has been alone ever since, until one day he feels a familiar spirit nearby... ::Kurama x Hiei::


_::After several years, I've gone back and edited this story, because I've begun a sequel. Just as before, it is inspired by the song 'Everything I Own' by Bread. I hope you enjoy this story and its continuation - **Valley of Thorns**::_

It was night... It was raining... And I was thinking of him again. I despise the rain. As soon as the storm began, I curled up in my tree and began thinking about him. The rain persisted as I sat there drowning in my own memories. Three days passed, and still I sat. I left only long enough to find myself food, loathing the water that pelted me. As small and fast as I am, it's still impossible to dodge raindrops.

I shivered as I sat there. The temperature didn't bother me, but I felt cold inside, thinking of all the people I had abandoned. Almost fifty years have passed since I last saw any of them, even my own sister... Spending so much time in the Ningenkai made me start perceiving time more slowly for some reason. Fifty years to most demons is nothing; it's time to be wasted. For a human though, it's a lifetime. It had felt like a lifetime to me.

Every time it rained I would think of them, no, think of him. I wished the rain would stop so I could push visions of him from my mind again and go back to being my heartless and uncaring self. But, it's so hard... Just when I think I have it all forgotten, everything he taught me comes flooding back and fills me up again. Until I met him, I had never known what it felt like to have a true friend, or to be in love. I would give up anything to see him again, but it's useless. I ran away. Besides, he'd be an old man after fifty years, sitting in a rocking chair somewhere and thinking of anything but me.

That was part of the reason I left. He was getting older, and I didn't know how to deal with it. In his late forties the last I saw him, his red hair had started to turn grey and his emerald eyes didn't seem as brilliant as they had when he was young. I hadn't aged a day the entire time we'd known each other. I still haven't. The worst of all was, after his mother died, he just wasn't the same. He lost something deep down that I didn't even know I loved about him. He became so clingy after that, seemed so weak. I had never been able to find any weakness or imperfection in him until then. That was when he told me he needed me, that I was all he had left. He said... he loved me. But, I didn't return those words. I left and I never even said good-bye. He frightened me by saying those words; I didn't know what to do with them. He laid them in my lap and expected an answer but I didn't know how to say I felt exactly the same. I wanted to tell him so badly, but I didn't. For some reason, I thought I would have been able to let go by now... I've never been able to.

As I sat there with the rain pouring down all around me, thinking of the life I left behind, I began to cry. The sound of the rain, the feel, the smell, drags everything to the surface and opens the wound left from losing him like it was new again. Losing him, listen to me. This wound is self inflicted...

Most of my tear gems rolled away and fell down to the ground to be lost in the mud until some fortunate apparition found them and made his fortune. Best of luck to him, may my misery be his gain. A few landed in my lap, coming to rest on my tunic and shining up at me. I decided to keep them and slipped them into my pocket. Perhaps they would come in use later.

Knowing I was alone, I cried myself to sleep that night and was only haunted with bad dreams and bad memories once I had...

The next morning I was awakened by a sudden surge of energy that I knew I had felt somewhere once before. It was powerful, but so far away I couldn't make heads or tails of it. The familiarity of the feeling I was getting was enough to make me interested, and I leapt down from my tree and headed in the direction it was emanating from. The rain had finally stopped, and for some reason, I felt so much better than I had the night before. It was like a huge weight had been lifted. I didn't understand why, I only knew that it felt wonderful and I shouldn't question it.

After an hour, I felt no closer to the energy signal than I had been when I woke up. Whoever it was coming from must have been moving, and quickly if he could even come close to matching my speed. Some faint memory kept nagging at me as I ran. I knew I had felt this power before, if only I could get closer I would be able to tell who it was. It was still moving away, farther and farther from me. It was getting so faint; I could barely tell which direction I should be heading in anymore. No matter, though; a chase is something I can appreciate.

A few hours went by, and I had lost my way by then. I hopped swiftly to the top of a boulder to rest and let the hot midday sun warm me. The breeze blowing past as I ran and the blazing rays of sunlight had dried my clothes that had been soaked the night before. It felt good to be dry again. I sat there relaxing and sunning myself for a long time; I even started to doze off. I was awakened suddenly and startled, though, when an imp appeared beside me holding some sort of document in his hands. His appearance baffled me. I hadn't used imps as messengers in so many years, what could this one possibly want?

"Lord Hiei, I have an important message."

"What, why are you interrupting my rest?" I growled.

He backed up a few feet and cleared his throat, looking at me nervously. I had killed more than a few imps for popping up at inappropriate times and annoying me. I suppose their kin had not forgotten that. He cleared his throat once more and held the paper out towards me, and as I took it, he said simply,

"Minamino Suuichi has died."

I stared at him in shock for a moment, hardly believing what had just been said to me. Now I recalled; I had left just one imp in the Ningenkai to watch over him when I had left. That imp now stood before me. I opened the folded paper and gazed down. I could barely read the language, and tried desperately to remember what I had been taught. I finally was able to decipher what I was looking at; it was a ningen death certificate. It was true... His human body had passed away.

Then I gasped and shot up from the place I was sitting when the realization of what had happened suddenly came. That energy signal I had felt before, I knew now why it felt so familiar to me. It was Youko Kurama...

Youko Kurama... back in the Makai, after almost ninety years living as a human. I could barely even believe this was happening. One single thing was running through my mind at that moment, I had to see him. It didn't matter what he might say or if he would care, I just had to see him again.

I tracked for hours, night was falling once again, and I still could find no trace of his energy. I decided that I would have to find some information on his whereabouts another way. I hurried to a nearby village and approached a pub, a place known for its low class demon scum. One thing about low class demon scum though, they have no loyalty and like to gossip, spreading whatever bad rumors and half truths they can. Because of that, word has a tendency to travel quickly. If it was true, that the infamous kitsune had returned to the Makai, someone there was bound to know.

I entered the sleazy establishment and leaned in a shadowy corner. A few eyes rose and glanced in my direction; all probably wondering what someone with actual class was doing in a place like this. The room was full of shady looking characters, and I opened my Jagan, hoping no one would notice the faint glow I knew was emanating from under my ward. The cloth I kept wrapped around my head dulled the power of the eye, but enough leaked out to read the simple minds that surrounded me. I scanned the room, and found a considerably scummy looking apparition in the corner that seemed to have a story or two to tell. He was alone, and I slid into the chair across the table from him.

"I need information..."

He squinted one eye and looked me over, trying to make my features out in the dark.

"You're Hiei the sword master, aren't you?" he asked. His raspy voice made it sound like there was phlegm about to be spit up at me.

"Maybe, but I didn't ask for questions, I asked for information."

"What kind of information would you be looking for?" he said, leaning forward a bit, apparently interested.

"I need to know where Youko Kurama is..."

He raised his eyebrow and stared at me. "Hm, that's a name I haven't heard much about in a while." My heart sank. Maybe I had been mistaken about this apparition knowing anything relevant. "And information about such a famous thief has a high price..." he added, grinning.

I smirked. Another thing low class demon scum enjoy is money and power, no matter how they go about obtaining it. The Makai is a kill or be killed world, and the more collateral and power you can obtain, the better chance you have of moving up in the food chain.

I reached into the pocket of my tunic and pulled out the gems I had cried the night before, placing them neatly in the center of the table.

"Three Koorime tear gems for everything you know and the names and locations of anyone else you think can tell me more."

He picked up one of the gems with his grimy fingers and gazed at it, looking it over. He was completely floored by the offer, which I had to admit was worth a bit more than what I was receiving in return... I was desperate though; I had to find Kurama at any cost.

"Where did you get these?" he said suspiciously once he had determined he was looking at the real deal. Most demons live and die without ever laying eyes on a gem from the Ice Country, and now this lucky bastard had three of them right in front of his nose.

"None of your business. Now, tell me where I can find Youko Kurama or I'll slit your throat and move on."

"Okay, okay, no need to be violent," he said, placing the gem back on the table and lowering his voice. "As you may know, the fox thief spent the last century in the Ningenkai in a human body..."

"Tell me something I don't already know, or I'm gone, and you're dead."

"Well word is he's returned at last, ready to reclaim some of his territory. They say he made for one of his gardens in the West as soon as he got here."

"Which garden, be more specific," I ordered.

"I can't be sure, but most of what I've heard is pointing to the Valley of Thorns, his most prized garden. Demons have been trying to break in there for years to see what treasures were left behind, but nobody ever makes it past those man eating plants."

"Good enough..." I said, leaving one gem on the table and vanishing from the pub.

"Hey! You promised three!" I heard a cry from behind me. What a fool, having just one gem was a treasure most apparitions couldn't even dream of. He got only as much as he deserved anyway, I still couldn't be sure if the information was accurate. There was also no guarantee I would be able to make it into the well-guarded Valley of Thorns and live. It was well known as one of Youko Kurama's favorite haunts. I just prayed he was truly there...

The giant wall of thorns stood before me; and worst of all, it was alive. Each and every vine was moving and writhing about, ready to pull anyone who came close inside to be a tasty snack. He had certainly protected this garden well, I wondered what could be inside that was so important to him. There were also wards in place around the perimeter, but some had lost their magic or been destroyed over the many long years going unattended. This left gaps in the protective wall, nothing visible, but the breaks in the barrier let whatever power was inside leak out. I knew, after standing there for only a few minutes, that he was behind those towering thorns. I could feel it tingling in every inch of my body. It was the most wonderful sensation I could have imagined. Now I only had to get inside.

A very handy quality that comes with being a fire demon, is, quite obviously, the ability to control fire. Plants do not like fire... I stepped forward and surrounded myself in flames, drawing my sword. The thorns started thrashing wildly as I leapt ahead and started cutting my way through them, burning the severed ends as I went. That would keep them from growing back. I knew Kurama would be upset with me killing his plants, but it was my only option. Upset if he even remembered me, that is...

When I had broken through the thorns, I froze. I could tell there was something else waiting to gobble me up, lurking in the darkness. I shifted my eyes back and forth. Being able to see in the dark better than any human and most demons, I spotted a movement to my left. The leaves quivered excitedly and began moving slowly towards me to see what this prey was that had stumbled into their territory. I recognized it immediately; the hideous, giant cousin of a Venus Fly Trap Kurama had used during his fight with Karasu so long ago. I raised my sword extremely slowly and glanced up; they were all around me. There must have been over a dozen of those huge, mouth like openings grinning down at me, ready to strike if I made even the tiniest movement.

It was then that I made a horrible mistake. Why did I have to let kindness leach its way into my heart and make me so weak? Having such an innocent sister taught me that the innocent are the ones who do not deserve death for any reason. This truth is what made me drop my guard as I saw a tiny baby bird, fresh out of the nest, flying above me, right towards the hungry plants. What that bird was doing out at night, I will never know, perhaps he was too young and naive to know what a dangerous situation he was getting himself into. Remembering how much my sister adored playing with birds and other animals in the forest made me momentarily forget my own will to survive and I leapt up to save it. The instant I moved, the plants dove towards me. The commotion scared the little creature enough to make it fly off in the other direction, safe from harm, but I was about to meet my death. My speed is nearly unmatched, but they were coming at me all at once; there was nowhere to run. Who would have imagined I would meet my maker all because of a helpless little bird?

The plants were wrapped around my body and pulling me in before I could even make a single slash of my sword. They had my arms pinned against my sides, and though I could burn them away, more kept coming. This ground was fertile with Kurama's energy, and it was feeding them. They sprouted from the ground one after another and trapped me, until I was encased in a ball of at least fifty plants, all overlapping each other and trying to get a bite of me. I could feel my ribs start to cave in and press against my lungs, making breathing impossible. Even if the digestive juices dripping onto my skin did not manage to kill me, I would need to breathe again eventually. I was sure, at that point, that I would suffocate before I could break free.

I thrashed wildly, trying with desperation to break a hole in the wall of giant leaves surrounding me before I passed out from lack of air. Each time I managed to destroy one though, two more came to take its place. I needed to release a stronger attack, but my arms were bound, and I could barely keep myself awake with nothing to breathe. I gasped pathetically, trying to suck some precious oxygen into my constricting lungs, but it was no use. I was being crushed to death...

I felt a sharp pain in my chest and would have cried out if I could. My lung had been punctured and I began choking up blood. I never got to say good-bye; it wasn't fair. I wanted to tell him I loved him just once, even if the feeling was no longer returned. I broke down, and began weeping even though I was slipping into unconsciousness. My life was about to end. I had always told myself I wasn't afraid of death, but I was so close. I had sensed his energy. He was right there. I could have gotten to tell him once, just once! That was all I wanted. Now I was being denied even that.

Just when I was ready to give up and let myself be taken, I felt the cool night air against my skin and I was falling to the ground. I landed in a heap, barely able to move. So many bones had been broken. I blinked the tears from my eyes and they solidified, the gems falling to the ground. Disoriented, I glanced around me, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"Well, well, well, what has found its way into Youko's trap?" I heard an interested voice call out. I was sure my heart stopped at that moment. His voice, that deep soothing melody I had been craving for half a century had just met my ears. I could barely even believe it...

Light footsteps grew louder and I saw two feet step in front of my bloody face with a white tail swishing behind them. He kneeled down, and I could move my head just enough to see two golden eyes peering down at me.

"Kurama..." I choked out, blood still in my throat.

When his eyesight had adjusted in the darkness, he gasped and brought a hand to his mouth. He leaned down, sniffing my hair deeply to make a better identification. He could tell what something was by its smell much better than he could by sight. His keen ability to remember scents never failed him...

"Hiei...?"

He remembered. I was overtaken with joy, and let out one, loud sob before fainting.

When I next opened my eyes, I looked around to see I was in a large den with a fire burning a few meters away from me. It was quite literally a hole in the ground, but he had fixed up the burrow quite nicely for himself. There were plants everywhere, naturally, and I was lying on a bed of soft furs. One thing in particular caught my eye, a framed picture of Shiori, his mother, sitting on a small rock. I wondered how he had gotten it, perhaps he had requested it be delivered to the Makai when he died. However he had obtained it did not matter, though. This was definitely Kurama's den. His sweet odor was everywhere, especially on the furs he had nestled me in to. It smelled like he had already slept in them. My nose is not nearly as sensitive as his, but he has a distinct scent that I could never forget.

"I see you're finally awake."

I was distracted from breathing in his aroma when I heard his voice from the entrance to the burrow. I found I could actually move and propped myself up on my elbows. The great white fox strode towards me and kneeled down, taking a damp cloth from a bowl of some herbal mixture he had concocted and dabbing it on the cuts I had gotten on my face. He looked just as beautiful as I remembered, and he was real, this was no dream, as I had almost feared it was the second I had awakened. I looked down at my body and saw he had tended to and wrapped all my injuries. My chest felt much better as well. He must have healed my ribs and damaged organs while I had slept.

"It was extremely foolish of you to come waltzing into my garden, you know..." he scolded with a hint of motherly disappointment in his voice, as if I had been naughty and broken the rules. He eyed me carefully, his gaze scanning up and down my body while he washed my face. He didn't look angry, but he didn't look very happy, either. I really couldn't tell what he was feeling, even with the power of my Jagan. His mind was much to old and complex to be read. I'm sure if I could see his thoughts though, they would be beautiful, as beautiful as his face... the face I had missed so dearly and had been yearning to see. Of course, Youko was different from Suuichi to the untrained eye, but he was the same to me. I could see the same kindness that had grown in him while he lived in the Ningenkai sparkling in his eyes.

"When I heard you had returned, I had to see you," I said softly. I could tell I was blushing from the gentle way he was touching my face. His fingers were so soft, and he was taking extra care not to scratch me with his wickedly sharp looking claws. I desperately hoped that he didn't notice the redness in my cheeks, it would have been far too embarrassing.

He sighed deeply and sat down on the furs beside me, making me even more nervous. It had been like an eternity since I had last felt him by my side, his energy freely mixing with my own. I could still feel the tingles it was sending through my body, but much stronger than before.

"It's been a long time."

I didn't know what to say, having him so close. The sensation was so familiar, but what if he didn't feel the same? I had rushed into things without even thinking what I would do if I actually got to see him. I had so many questions. Had he missed me? Did he hate me? Did he even want me in his life after what I had done...?

"Why are you here?" he asked, narrowing his striking eyes and examining me closely, trying to find an answer before I could even speak.

"I told you..."

"No, not good enough. Tell me why you have come back to me after so long."

"I don't know..." I mumbled. Of course I knew, I was in love with him. I had a passion burning inside me that fifty years of separation had not managed to extinguish. I still wanted him. I had to tell him the truth that had been burning inside me for so long. It was eating me up like never before, and having his skin brushing against my own and his fluffy tail twitching behind me made me feel like I was about to burst.

"Lies..." he growled. "You wouldn't have sought me out if you had no reason. Don't try to tell me you risked your life just to say hello."

"I... I'm sorry." His accusing stare was making me feel horrible. Even a hint of anger in the kitsune's voice was upsetting, even frightening. All the more so now that it was directed at me.

"Sorry!? Do you think you can just make everything go away? I never married because of you, did you know? I grew old alone. I died _alone_."

I winced and turned away, unable to look at him. I had no idea I had caused so much pain, just by leaving. I thought he would have moved on and found someone else, forgotten me and found a lover that appreciated him like I hadn't. Suddenly though, sitting with him at my side and telling me what my absence had done, I recalled a conversation we had shared when he was still a teenager. I remembered something he had told me that never seemed important until now. 'Kitsune mate for life...'

I turned back, suddenly wishing I had been killed by those plants so I would not have had to face this. He had waited for me that whole time... I had left him alone to wonder if I despised him for the rest of his human life. I wanted to shrink away, find a crevice somewhere to curl up in and die. I had been turned away the day I was born, been an outcast my whole life until he brought me into his heart and made me like a member of his family. He sheltered me, he taught me everything about love and compassion, things I would never have learned if I had stayed alone. He gave everything to me, never asked for anything in return but my friendship and trust, and I pushed him away. Pushed him away like I had been pushed away. That feeling has always brought a bad taste to my mouth, I couldn't believe I had inflicted it on the person I loved most.

"Kurama..."

"I had already given myself to you. I thought... I _knew_ that you loved me. But when you ran away..." He shut his eyelids and I was completely blown away by the tears that seeped from the corners of his gorgeous eyes. I had never, in all my life, imagined that I would someday see the great Youko Kurama cry; and cry for me...

"I thought I must have been mistaken. I spent so many nights wondering if I would ever see you again." He took my hands in his then, and moved his face close to mine. I could feel his breath against my mouth. "Tell me the truth. Was I wrong in thinking you loved me?"

I stared into his golden irises and had trouble grasping what I had just been asked. He was giving me a second chance. After what I had done to him, abandoned him and never even tried to go back, he was willing to come back to me if I would have him.

"No... I was the one who was wrong... Forgive me." I touched his cheek gently and ran my fingertips over his lips. "I would do anything to win you back." I would have given anything, absolutely anything to have him with me again. I prayed with all of my being to whatever power that had created me to have him accept my apology, even though I knew it could never make up for what I had done.

His ears perked up and he smiled at me, something I wasn't expecting, and he threw his strong arms around my small body and hugging me. He nuzzled his face against the crook of my neck and I wrapped my arms around him to return the embrace.

"I'm already yours..." he whispered.

I closed my eyes and held him as close to me as possible. Apparently, I had done something to earn his forgiveness. In my long life I must have done enough good to deserve having a beauty like him hold me in his arms again. I had never felt so fortunate. "And I am yours. I'm sorry it took so long to tell you..."

His long fingers ran through my hair and he clung to me, nearly knocking me down onto the furs with his weight. He was huge compared to me, not that I minded having him so close...

"Hiei," he said, leaning back and looking deeply at me again. "You must understand that when you agree to be a kitsune's mate, you are letting him claim you as his own until the day you die..."

"I would like nothing more."

Not much needed to be said, everything was written clearly on our faces. I was just sad that I had wasted so much time. We could have been together all those years. I could have been there to wish him luck when his spirit left the mortal world and returned to that of demons. There was nothing that could be done about it though, and it didn't matter. He was here now, he was in my arms and I could tell he was holding back from making love to me as ferociously and passionately as possible. I was still badly injured though, and he did not want to hurt me further. No more pain needed to be shared between the two of us. I did not want pain ever again, I just wanted to bathe in his glow forever and feel the wonderful warmth of spirit he gave off flowing through me constantly.

There was one thing I could do though. If he had claimed me, I must also mark him as my own. I gripped his long silver hair in my hand and pulled his head back so his throat was bared. I bent my head down and sank my fangs into his neck, biting him deeply. He gasped, but did not push me away. I brushed the blood away when I had finished, admiring the mark I had made.

"You are not the only one with fangs now..." He said breathily, grinning and baring his own sharp teeth. The carnivorous eye teeth were a far cry from those of Suuichi, a beautiful improvement, in my opinion.

He nudged my face with his nose and bit into my neck, careful of my serious wounds. He licked the blood away gently and sat back.

"That will leave a scar, I'm sure," he said.

"That's what I was planning on."

I grinned at him and he pushed me carefully onto my back. His hair was brushing against the sides of my face and tickling me and he lowered his head down. When his lips brushed my own, I was sure that must be what heaven was like. He had told me once that for humans, their first kiss is an experience that they never forget. I had thought it foolish at the time, but I suddenly understood. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I purred loudly. He tasted so wonderful I wished I could have taken him right then and there. I would have to wait until my injuries healed, but we had till the end of time to spend together now.

We were snuggled under the furs together a short time later. He seemed to enjoy pressing against the warmth of my body. I was glad knowing he would never have to spend a night in the cold again with my red hot fire demon blood coursing through veins only centimeters from his own. He was playing with my hair, which he had told me so many times he was jealous of since it was softer than his own. He stroked my face and smiled at me, looking absolutely content.

"Are you going to go back to thieving?" I asked.

"I think I would rather stay here and tend my gardens for a few years before I show my face to the public again," he said, nuzzling against my cheek. "Will you stay here with me?"

"I will stay anywhere you are," I told him honestly. I never wanted to leave his side again. I never wanted him out of my sight.

He smiled at me again. He looked so overjoyed. I had always pictured his reaction being angry if I ever got to confront him. I thought he would turn me away; never want to see my face again. I suppose I should have expected more from Kurama though. Only he could wait for someone for fifty years and forgive them in fifty seconds. The mother's love that had become a part of him was amazing, something that could never be taken away no matter how much time passed or what body he was in. I loved him more than ever. And more them ever I had to tell him.

I moved so my lips were almost touching his, and barely whispered.

"I love you..."

"Please, don't ever keep something from me again."

"I swear it."

"I love you, Hiei; more than the greatest treasure I could ever steal."

I was so happy to hear those words. They were the most beautiful words ever spoken to me. I had spent so long wondering, hoping, wishing I could see him or forget him. All the pain was worth it though. It was so worth it.

**Lyrics:**

_'Everything I Own' _

_Bread_

You sheltered me from harm.  
Kept me warm, kept me warm  
You gave my life to me  
Set me free, set me free  
The finest years I ever knew  
Were all the years I had with you

I would give anything I own,  
Give up my life, my heart, my home.  
I would give everything I own,  
Just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love,  
What it's of, what it's of.  
You never said too much,  
But still you showed the way,  
And I knew from watching you.  
Nobody else could ever know  
The part of me that can't let go.

I would give anything I own,  
Give up my life, my heart, my home.  
I would give everything I own  
Just to have you back again.

Is there someone you know,  
You're loving them so,  
But taking them all for granted?  
You may lose them one day,  
Someone takes them away,  
And they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own,  
Give up my life, my heart, my home.  
I would give everything I own  
Just to have you back again.


End file.
